Manners and Volunteerism

After 2 1/2 weeks of watching the kids eat with their elbows on the table, return to the buffet while chewing food from round 1, and forget to push in their chairs when leaving the table (Pat is FAMOUS for this too!), I decided that they need an expert besides me to help them refine their table manners.

Searching for Seattle area etiquette classes for the kids I came upon a good website - Mannerofthemonth.com

The owner teaches classes but also has on-line lessons. She had a whole section on Manners and Volunteering. I really like the quotes - and have outlined them in bold. But here's the whole excerpt:


"Never before has man had such a great capacity to control his own environment, to end hunger, poverty and disease, to banish illiteracy and human misery. We have the power to make the best generation of mankind in the history of the world.” — President John F. Kennedy

Manners and volunteerism go hand in hand—both are about putting others first. When we use our manners as we volunteer, we are able to gracefully accomplish many tasks. Not only will we will feel better about our work, but we feel better about the way we have done it.

Tips for the Mannerly Volunteer

1. “Yes, I will do it.”
For many of us, serving our community is just one of the many tasks we juggle in an ever-growing list of to-dos. We must be realistic with our time commitments and know our limitations. Just as we would not take on five part-time jobs, we should not take on numerous volunteer positions. When we are tempted to over commit ourselves, we must ask ourselves this question: Am I volunteering to make myself feel good or for the good of the organization?

We should never have an attitude that we are “just volunteering.” When we commit to a volunteer position, others are counting on us to fulfill our role with integrity, quality, and hard work. Our work as a volunteer is one of the most important responsibilities we can undertake, and our efforts will affect the lives of those we serve and the organization. There isn’t a greater act of humanity than one human being helping another!

“We make a living by what we do, but we make a life by what we give.” —Winston Churchill

2. Think before saying, “Yes, I will do it!”
Take time to research organizations that you believe in and activities that you will enjoy. Take on jobs that will challenge you and play to your strengths. When you give because you believe in a cause, it is easier to participate with greater commitment, and organizations and individuals will gain more from your work. When we work from the heart, our work will often inspire others to join the cause.

“We can do no great things, only small things with great love.” — Mother Theresa

3. Follow through after saying, “Yes, I will do it!”
Do what you say you are going to do. One of the greatest character traits is being someone that others can depend on. If you agree to a meeting, be on time. If you sign up for a task, complete it. Be mentally and physically present. If you are working with a committee, use good communication: ask for help, share ideas, listen to the contributions of others. Volunteer work done well not only positively impacts the organization or person you are working with but also allows you to feel proud of the work you have done! Remember that quality is often better than quantity.

“No man can become rich without himself enriching others.” — Andrew Carnegie

4. “I thought I could do it.”
When you do commit to a task, it is always best to follow through and see it to the end. However, no matter how carefully we plan, at times we do become overcommitted or circumstances in our life change. Many times, over commitment makes us feel guilty. Rather than working through the situation, we see it as all or nothing; it seems easier to quit than to work out a solution.

When you feel overwhelmed, ask for help or admit to not being able to do it all. Remember that when you quit without creating a solution or smooth transition, the work doesn’t just go away because you have. Just walking away nonverbally communicates that you don’t care how the decision to leave might affect another person or the organization. Your departure will create extra stress and time for the individuals who have to pick up where you left off, even though they are probably equally busy with their personal schedules.

“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

5. “He/she said he/she would do it!”
Demonstrate grace to those you work with. Unless we have fantastic personal commitment restraint, most of us have found ourselves in the situation where we cannot do what we said we could. When a volunteer leaves a task undone, don’t tear down their reputation or complain about the quality of work when we think we could do it better. Instead come alongside your fellow volunteer, ask what you can do to help, and encourage them along the way.