I have a question. How can I "know" so many bloggers with the same values (in general - not political) as I, and yet meet so few in person? I guess it could be the blogs I read - blogs of good friends, and blogs like this and this and this and this. But what about the "mainsteam" people? Don't they blog? I'd love to read some blogs of people defending why it is good for your kids to text 24/7. And why shopping at the mall for designer clothes is a family activity. Living life with your "friends" on Facebook instead of, well, living life. (And Farmville? Come on!!!) Watching TV enough so that your kids hear 14,000 references to sex in one year? Playing video games for hours on end instead of reading or playing a family board game - please enlighten me!!! I'd love to read about what is going on with the affluenza set, because that seems to be how most of the people I meet in person think.
If you know any blog sites like this - defending consumerism - please post them as a comment.
Showing posts with label affluenza. Show all posts
Showing posts with label affluenza. Show all posts
Monday, August 2, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Judge Not.
Today, in the place where I should not be judgemental, I was. During Mass - ALL of it - a little girl 3 pews in front of us spent the whole time playing her Nintendo DS! At first I thought this girl had a pink book. Never mind that she looked to be around 8 or 9 years old - at the very least past First Communion age when kids should be listening. But while looking up at our priest during the homily, I was startled to notice it was a DS! This little girl sat all through Mass, even when the rest of us stood, playing DS with her little sister looking over her shoulder.
It drives me crazy enough when parents allow their kids to bring the DS into a restaurant, rather then take responsibility and teach them how to sit and socialize, but church? Come on! Now I have to add this to my list of things that irresponsible parents do in church. (My list also includes food in church - it's only an hour, eat before...) I even contemplated telling her smug, affluent looking parents that I would pray for them at the end of Mass. And then, right after the Eucharest, I looked over and the girl's mom was kneeling, and praying and crying. And I realized, who am I to judge? I have no idea what is happening in that family. And maybe if the DS was the only way to get that family to Mass and allow the mom to have Communion and pray and cry, then so be it. God doesn't mind, so why should I?
It drives me crazy enough when parents allow their kids to bring the DS into a restaurant, rather then take responsibility and teach them how to sit and socialize, but church? Come on! Now I have to add this to my list of things that irresponsible parents do in church. (My list also includes food in church - it's only an hour, eat before...) I even contemplated telling her smug, affluent looking parents that I would pray for them at the end of Mass. And then, right after the Eucharest, I looked over and the girl's mom was kneeling, and praying and crying. And I realized, who am I to judge? I have no idea what is happening in that family. And maybe if the DS was the only way to get that family to Mass and allow the mom to have Communion and pray and cry, then so be it. God doesn't mind, so why should I?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
What are we teaching our kids?
Recognize this logo? I do - Rachel has 6 or 7 of them. In fact, Alex just gave her this guy for her birthday.
She's a cute, stuffed, black kitty that looks just like Inka. I like her too - that's why I picked her up from the store. After she received her, Rachel ran downstairs to log her new cat in.... and that's always where I start having an issue. To keep Webkinz virtual pets happy, you have to buy them virtual stuff. And to buy them stuff, you play games (dare I say under-age gambling?) to make money. The more money, the more stuff. I asked Rachel if the games were hard, but guess what? Money making is EASY on Webkinz. And, it's pretty unlimited. Since Rachel logged in on her birthday, she was given 100 bucks! However, since the game earnings can be in the thousands, she reported the birthday gift as only 100 bucks. In fact, just for purchasing and logging in her new Inka cat, she was given $2,000 and some other random junk. Now, it's been about an hour and Rachel's still messing with the Webkinz thing, and I don't mind her spending time playing a computer game - it's just this one. I'll repeat myself here, just because I am so baffled by the concept and how people / parents think this is good. On Webkinz, the more stuff you get, the happier your pets are. Money making is easy street - just gamble for it. If you don't regularly check in with your Webkinz site, your pets lose happiness, so make sure and keep coming back to cyberworld (obsessively) to buy more stuff (again, obsessively). And have as much fun as you can - for a year. After that your pet expires and if you do not buy another one, your whole account is kaplooey. This morning Rachel even contemplated not logging in Inka until her other latest one - a horse- expires in December - so worried is she that she'll lose her whole virtual world.
What are we teaching our kids?
For more see:
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Tips for Parenting in a Commercial Culture
I found another resource - Tips for Parenting in a Commercial Culture, after doing some research on the Silver Spoon Kids book. If you sign up for their newsletter, you can get a free copy of this booklet, both in PDF and published form. Here are some quotes:
We have become a nation that places a lower priority on teaching its children how to thrive socially, intellectually, even spiritually, than it does on training them to consume. The long-term consequences of this development are ominous.
–Juliet Schor, Born to Buy2
When you say no to another gizmo, say yes to something
your child really wants — your time. In What Kids Really
Want that Money Can’t Buy, author Betsy Taylor points to surveys
and self-reports that indicate what children really want
more than stuff is time — with parents, friends, and extended
family. According to a New American Dream poll, 57
percent of children age 9-14 would rather do something fun
with their mom or dad than go to the mall to go shopping.
Kids yearn to get off the treadmill with their families and simply
have unstructured fun. Whether it’s playing games, cooking,
reading together, or just sharing space with the TV off,
remember that the best thing you can give your kids is you.
-New American Dream.org
All this and more can be found on New American Dream.org
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Silver Spoon Kids
I just finished reading book #10 - Silver Spoon Kids - How Successful Parents Raise Responsible Children, by Eileen and Jon Gallo. I cannot remember how I stumbled upon this book, but it is really good.
It starts out saying that affluence is a double-edged sword. It allows us to raise children in comfort, but also allows over-indulgence. It gives us the ability to buy products and services that help learning and development but also makes it easier to focus on materialism. It increases the choices available to our children, but overloads them with activities. It enables them to be involved in philanthropy but creates a sense of entitlement. The authors state that affluence is actually often a state of mind rather then a glut of money, and many people that are "living the life" can not really afford it. Hence the bankruptcies and credit crises we are now seeing. The authors aren't all gloom and doom about money though. They basically say that kids can be taught to be appreciative and respectful, if they develop healthy relationships with money and needs vs. wants. (Hmm, sounds like some of my old posts....) They also advocate philanthropy from an early age, and say it is especially important for teenagers who are in a self-centered period of life. The authors talk about the "school curriculum" and how it encourages classism - the process of treating groups of people differently because of their class background. (We experienced this first hand when Alex was in 2nd grade - public school...) And one of my favorite positive quotes is "Affluence is simply an additional opportunity to make the world a better place."
Here's a review from TIME Magazine:
On page 89 of the new book Silver Spoon Kids, a guide for wealthy parents on how to raise fiscally responsible children, is a list of the 10 worst things you can say to your kids about money. Things like: We can't afford it, Time is money, and We'll talk about it later.
I wasn't guilty of them all, but enough to start me thinking. I want my kids to work hard, appreciate what they have and give to causes they believe in. Yet we live in an age when "affluenza" makes the cover of Forbes, and young adults have serious credit-card problems. Does the fact that my daughter sees me whipping out my credit card several times a day mean she will be back on our doorstep with her hand out at age 25?
Hoping not, I dug into this book, written by Jon and Eileen Gallo, husband (he's an estate-planning attorney) and wife (she's a psychotherapist), who have spent the past 17 years raising their three kids. And I came away cautiously optimistic. The Gallos, it turns out, are realists. They believe it's normal for children to want everything they see on TV. They know that kids can be relentless. And they're not of the opinion that money is a bad thing; quite the opposite in fact. "We tell people money never hurt anyone," says Jon Gallo. "It's money without values that's the problem."
But how do you instill the right values in your kids? It's a matter of showing them three things, according to the Gallos:
1. Show them balanced behavior by separating wants from needs. One parent the Gallos worked with watched her daughter run down the Barbie aisle at Toys "R" Us and insist she "needed" a purple purse for her doll. The mother paused and said, "Your Barbie already has a pink purse. Do you think she needs a purple one too?" On her own, the little girl decided no.
2. Show them the money. Giving your kids money — an allowance when they're young and, the Gallos suggest, a prepaid credit card like Visa Buxx when they're teens — is key to teaching them how to live within their means as adults. Use the start of an allowance (or a raise) to discuss what your kids are expected to do: Are they responsible for buying their own candy at the movies, their own CDs at the mall? Are they expected to save some and give some away? (For youngsters, I've recently come across a terrific plastic piggy bank called the Money Savvy Pig. It's clear (so the kids can see money adding up) and has four slots, one each for saving, spending, investing and donating. You can get it on the Web at www.moneysavvygeneration.com for $14.95.
3. Show them how to give. Particularly when they are young, they're open to the message that they need to help. Spend a morning stocking the shelves at a local food pantry. Walk with them for causes like breast cancer or heart disease. Help them count the change they save, then write a check for that amount to a charity they choose. And be sure to request that the thank-you note comes to them.
By Jean Chatzky
If you're interested, the authors have a website and another book - see Financially Intelligent Parent or fiparent.com . Also if you're still with me...
More of my favorite excerpts from the book:
Electronic media
Most American by the age of 18 will have spent more time in front of a television then in school... When not watching TV, they're online. The problem is not the medium itself - computers, television - but rather what it prevents kids from doing. Engaging in real conversations with real people is how kids mature emotionally and become socialized. Face-to-face communication is the key to what counts in life, from a happy family to physical health and longevity. Participating in activities with friends and adults provides experiences that help shape values. When kids spend hours watching TV, a computer screen or playing video games, they are robbed of conversations and activities. It's no wonder that many of them are emotionally stunted and do not develop the solid values that keep them from becoming spoiled, entitled, snobbish or unmotivated. (page 8)
Ten Worst Things You Can Say to Your Kids -
1. We can't afford it
2. We'll talk about it later
3. We'll pay you for every A on your report card
4. Money is the root of all evil
5. Time is money
6. Thta's not an appropriate question
7. They're disgustingly rich
8. Don't ever let anyone know how much money we have
9. Why don't you have your friends here - we have a __________, after all
10. Be thankful you don't live there
For more explanation of these see page 89.
School Curriculum
Although it would be nice to think that the educational system combats classism, historically it encourages it. A Harvard study found that teachers expectations about the academic potential of their students were based almost entirely on the racial and socioeconomic status of the families. Consequently, teachers spend more time with these students and less with the students they expect to fail, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. (page 143)
Give and You Shall Receive ( page 155)
Philanthropy is a meaningful activity. This is no small point considering that teenagers often view the world from an existential perspective. At the most extreme they adopt a cynical pose and believe in nothing except their own immediate needs. Philanthropic endeavors contradict this notion of a meaningless existence. When adolescents especially perform services for others who are less well off, they relaize that they possess the capacity to do something meaningful, and by extension they learn they can live meaningful lives. This can start the process whereby teenagers shuck off the cynicism and begin to mature into responsible adults.
The Desire to Live a Meaningful (not just material) Life (page 237)
We're more affluent then our parents; we probably work as many or more hours as they did; we may see our kids less; we enjoy a high standard of living. So what? Are we as a society really happier? Do our lives make more sense? Are our kids happier? Delve into these questions for yourself...
It starts out saying that affluence is a double-edged sword. It allows us to raise children in comfort, but also allows over-indulgence. It gives us the ability to buy products and services that help learning and development but also makes it easier to focus on materialism. It increases the choices available to our children, but overloads them with activities. It enables them to be involved in philanthropy but creates a sense of entitlement. The authors state that affluence is actually often a state of mind rather then a glut of money, and many people that are "living the life" can not really afford it. Hence the bankruptcies and credit crises we are now seeing. The authors aren't all gloom and doom about money though. They basically say that kids can be taught to be appreciative and respectful, if they develop healthy relationships with money and needs vs. wants. (Hmm, sounds like some of my old posts....) They also advocate philanthropy from an early age, and say it is especially important for teenagers who are in a self-centered period of life. The authors talk about the "school curriculum" and how it encourages classism - the process of treating groups of people differently because of their class background. (We experienced this first hand when Alex was in 2nd grade - public school...) And one of my favorite positive quotes is "Affluence is simply an additional opportunity to make the world a better place."
Here's a review from TIME Magazine:
On page 89 of the new book Silver Spoon Kids, a guide for wealthy parents on how to raise fiscally responsible children, is a list of the 10 worst things you can say to your kids about money. Things like: We can't afford it, Time is money, and We'll talk about it later.
I wasn't guilty of them all, but enough to start me thinking. I want my kids to work hard, appreciate what they have and give to causes they believe in. Yet we live in an age when "affluenza" makes the cover of Forbes, and young adults have serious credit-card problems. Does the fact that my daughter sees me whipping out my credit card several times a day mean she will be back on our doorstep with her hand out at age 25?
Hoping not, I dug into this book, written by Jon and Eileen Gallo, husband (he's an estate-planning attorney) and wife (she's a psychotherapist), who have spent the past 17 years raising their three kids. And I came away cautiously optimistic. The Gallos, it turns out, are realists. They believe it's normal for children to want everything they see on TV. They know that kids can be relentless. And they're not of the opinion that money is a bad thing; quite the opposite in fact. "We tell people money never hurt anyone," says Jon Gallo. "It's money without values that's the problem."
But how do you instill the right values in your kids? It's a matter of showing them three things, according to the Gallos:
1. Show them balanced behavior by separating wants from needs. One parent the Gallos worked with watched her daughter run down the Barbie aisle at Toys "R" Us and insist she "needed" a purple purse for her doll. The mother paused and said, "Your Barbie already has a pink purse. Do you think she needs a purple one too?" On her own, the little girl decided no.
2. Show them the money. Giving your kids money — an allowance when they're young and, the Gallos suggest, a prepaid credit card like Visa Buxx when they're teens — is key to teaching them how to live within their means as adults. Use the start of an allowance (or a raise) to discuss what your kids are expected to do: Are they responsible for buying their own candy at the movies, their own CDs at the mall? Are they expected to save some and give some away? (For youngsters, I've recently come across a terrific plastic piggy bank called the Money Savvy Pig. It's clear (so the kids can see money adding up) and has four slots, one each for saving, spending, investing and donating. You can get it on the Web at www.moneysavvygeneration.com for $14.95.
3. Show them how to give. Particularly when they are young, they're open to the message that they need to help. Spend a morning stocking the shelves at a local food pantry. Walk with them for causes like breast cancer or heart disease. Help them count the change they save, then write a check for that amount to a charity they choose. And be sure to request that the thank-you note comes to them.
By Jean Chatzky
If you're interested, the authors have a website and another book - see Financially Intelligent Parent or fiparent.com . Also if you're still with me...
More of my favorite excerpts from the book:
Electronic media
Most American by the age of 18 will have spent more time in front of a television then in school... When not watching TV, they're online. The problem is not the medium itself - computers, television - but rather what it prevents kids from doing. Engaging in real conversations with real people is how kids mature emotionally and become socialized. Face-to-face communication is the key to what counts in life, from a happy family to physical health and longevity. Participating in activities with friends and adults provides experiences that help shape values. When kids spend hours watching TV, a computer screen or playing video games, they are robbed of conversations and activities. It's no wonder that many of them are emotionally stunted and do not develop the solid values that keep them from becoming spoiled, entitled, snobbish or unmotivated. (page 8)
Ten Worst Things You Can Say to Your Kids -
1. We can't afford it
2. We'll talk about it later
3. We'll pay you for every A on your report card
4. Money is the root of all evil
5. Time is money
6. Thta's not an appropriate question
7. They're disgustingly rich
8. Don't ever let anyone know how much money we have
9. Why don't you have your friends here - we have a __________, after all
10. Be thankful you don't live there
For more explanation of these see page 89.
School Curriculum
Although it would be nice to think that the educational system combats classism, historically it encourages it. A Harvard study found that teachers expectations about the academic potential of their students were based almost entirely on the racial and socioeconomic status of the families. Consequently, teachers spend more time with these students and less with the students they expect to fail, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. (page 143)
Give and You Shall Receive ( page 155)
Philanthropy is a meaningful activity. This is no small point considering that teenagers often view the world from an existential perspective. At the most extreme they adopt a cynical pose and believe in nothing except their own immediate needs. Philanthropic endeavors contradict this notion of a meaningless existence. When adolescents especially perform services for others who are less well off, they relaize that they possess the capacity to do something meaningful, and by extension they learn they can live meaningful lives. This can start the process whereby teenagers shuck off the cynicism and begin to mature into responsible adults.
The Desire to Live a Meaningful (not just material) Life (page 237)
We're more affluent then our parents; we probably work as many or more hours as they did; we may see our kids less; we enjoy a high standard of living. So what? Are we as a society really happier? Do our lives make more sense? Are our kids happier? Delve into these questions for yourself...
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Shopping in Chicago. Or is it Seattle? Who Can Tell???
While shopping for Christmas in sweet home Chicagoland this year, I really started to think about how homogenous our country has become. And how it's not really such a great thing. If I had not experienced the 4 hour flight between Seattle and Chicago, and instead just somehow ended up back here without knowing it, walking in to one of the many Chicagoland malls would offer no clues as to where I was. The stores are all the same! Target in every town around here, Barnes and Noble, Starbucks... the stores are all the same! Even one of my favorite restaurants when we lived here - Maggiano's - has migrated to Seattle. One of the stores I like to visit in Seattle is Guitar Center. I thought that was a one of a kind store. No such thing - they have one here! Last month we went and ate at Bucca de Beppo in Seattle (after going to Guitar Center). It was an okay place - as far as Seattle Italian food goes (usually not the best) - but what do you know? There's one of those here too! I was able to get some winter boots at Carson's which is a Chicagoland chain - at least so far it hasn't been purchased or franchised afar. And it really started me thinking - would someone be able to avoid all Corporate-owned national chain stores for some set amount of time? Could that someone be me, for a year??? I told the kids I might try it and they freaked! Who was going to take them to use their Christmas giftcards????!!!!
So, now I need to set my rules. It's my thing after all, so I can do it however I want. I really want to try and avoid corporate stores that have nationalized. Independent franchises don't bother me as much, although they are still not as good as personally owned businesses. I hate Target anyway, so avoiding that place is okay. Ditto for Costco. Michael's and JoAnn's will be tough, but I'll be able to discover boutique yarn shops and also bead shops for Rachel. Bookstores will be challenging. I love Barnes and Noble and Borders, but don't like what they have done to independent booksellers (think "You've Got Mail" here). I really, really love Amazon. Pat's brother helped me rationalize this one by allowing for the fact that they have no brick and mortar stores and have not helped create so much homogeninity (is that even a word?) So, I'm still not sure though... Amazon has definitely damaged many small mom and pop shops but since I'm addicted to books, I might have to make an exception here. Food chains won't be a problem. After reading Fast Food Nation, I generally avoid those places anyway. I might miss Chipotle, but that's it. I really need to get back on my gluten-free health plan, so eating out should probably be avoided. Clothing.... Well, I don't buy a lot of clothes. But, they are usually from Target, Eddie Bauer, Ann Taylor Loft, Nordstrom, JC Penney's - all chains. I thought REI might be safe - but what do you know - they opened one in Oakbrook! Now they have to be out too! So, clothing will take a little more thought. It all sounds kind of challenging and fun though, doesn't it?
So, now I need to set my rules. It's my thing after all, so I can do it however I want. I really want to try and avoid corporate stores that have nationalized. Independent franchises don't bother me as much, although they are still not as good as personally owned businesses. I hate Target anyway, so avoiding that place is okay. Ditto for Costco. Michael's and JoAnn's will be tough, but I'll be able to discover boutique yarn shops and also bead shops for Rachel. Bookstores will be challenging. I love Barnes and Noble and Borders, but don't like what they have done to independent booksellers (think "You've Got Mail" here). I really, really love Amazon. Pat's brother helped me rationalize this one by allowing for the fact that they have no brick and mortar stores and have not helped create so much homogeninity (is that even a word?) So, I'm still not sure though... Amazon has definitely damaged many small mom and pop shops but since I'm addicted to books, I might have to make an exception here. Food chains won't be a problem. After reading Fast Food Nation, I generally avoid those places anyway. I might miss Chipotle, but that's it. I really need to get back on my gluten-free health plan, so eating out should probably be avoided. Clothing.... Well, I don't buy a lot of clothes. But, they are usually from Target, Eddie Bauer, Ann Taylor Loft, Nordstrom, JC Penney's - all chains. I thought REI might be safe - but what do you know - they opened one in Oakbrook! Now they have to be out too! So, clothing will take a little more thought. It all sounds kind of challenging and fun though, doesn't it?
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Affluenza - revisited
In reading my old posts, I decided to revisit one of my favorite topics - Affluenza. It helps me to read others opinions every once in awhile to refocus and regroup. I found this blog- Frugal Zeitgeist. Pretty interesting. I'm glad I found it. So far, I have not purchased a single gift for the kids and it's a week and 2 days until Christmas. I don't even really have any ideas. I sort of started to freak out this morning - I was tempted to click "yes" on the Amazon site for a Zune for APD and call RMD's science teacher and put in an order for a bunny. Never mind that they are committed to saving for these things themselves - and I am sure will enjoy them more that way. So, I'm still stuck - what to buy???? Well, I still have a week...
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Something you definitely DON'T need - if you're under 16!
I'm on a rant against kids having cell phones again. We were just at a family game night on Sunday - the game was basketball . Real, not Wiii (does that exist?) The kids were all having a great time - in between running over to check their cell phones! Give me a break! You are between 12 and 17. Are you really THAT important that you can't be out of touch? Are you on call to do brain surgery? Will your friends DIE if they can't text you for say an hour?
Don't get me wrong, I can see the merit of a cell phone at times like when Alex's soccer practice ends at 5:00 and I'm not planning to get there until 5:15, it's dark, raining.... But I don't think kids should be so dependent on cell phones. It's really symptomatic of another problem, I've decided. The fact that kids are so self-centered these days. They're living in an "It's all about me" world - all the time. Of course they need to be reachable 24-7 - they are the center of the world!
I also don't understand the parents that tolerate this. Do they not mind outsiders invading their kids' time constantly? During homework, sports, dinner. Not to mention family time. Maybe they're so busy themselves they're happy their kids are occupied. I think it's sad. If and when we do get the kids a cell phone, there will definitely be restrictions. It should be a useful tool, not an obsession.
Talking Point interview - here's the description: Teenagers are using cell phones anywhere and everywhere they can. That usage can sometimes come at the expense of education, a good night's sleep and even safety.
Cell Phones For Ransom - I like this idea!
Cell Phone Babies - super funny!
Don't get me wrong, I can see the merit of a cell phone at times like when Alex's soccer practice ends at 5:00 and I'm not planning to get there until 5:15, it's dark, raining.... But I don't think kids should be so dependent on cell phones. It's really symptomatic of another problem, I've decided. The fact that kids are so self-centered these days. They're living in an "It's all about me" world - all the time. Of course they need to be reachable 24-7 - they are the center of the world!
I also don't understand the parents that tolerate this. Do they not mind outsiders invading their kids' time constantly? During homework, sports, dinner. Not to mention family time. Maybe they're so busy themselves they're happy their kids are occupied. I think it's sad. If and when we do get the kids a cell phone, there will definitely be restrictions. It should be a useful tool, not an obsession.
Talking Point interview - here's the description: Teenagers are using cell phones anywhere and everywhere they can. That usage can sometimes come at the expense of education, a good night's sleep and even safety.
Cell Phones For Ransom - I like this idea!
Cell Phone Babies - super funny!
Friday, November 7, 2008
Hundred Dollar Holiday
(an excerpt I found on the website of the author of Deep Economy - this really makes sense and reflects a goal I am working towards as well)
The Case For a More Joyful Christmas
By Bill McKibben
Introduction: Who Stole Christmas?
I've been called my share of names, but the only one that ever really stung was "grinch." The year that a few friends and I started the Hundred Dollar Holiday program through our rural Methodist churches, several business-page columnists in the local papers leveled the G-word—we were dour do-gooders, they said, bent on taking the joy out of Christmas. And, frankly, their charges sounded plausible enough. After all, we were asking our families, our friends, and our church brethren to try and limit the amount of money they spend on the holiday to a hundred dollars—to celebrate the holiday with a seventh or an eighth of the normal American materialism. There's no question that would mean fewer "Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums! Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!" Not to mention Playstations, Camcorders, Five Irons, and various Obsessions. Perhaps my heart was two sizes too small.
So it was with some trepidation that I carefully reread my daughter's well-worn copy of the Seuss classic, neatly shelved with Green Eggs and Ham, Horton Hears a Who, and all the other secular parables. There on the cover was the Grinch himself, red eyes gleaming malevolently as he plotted the sack of Whoville. He hated the noise of the kids with their toys, and he hated the feast of rare Who-roast-beast, and most of all he hated the singing. "Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now! I MUST stop this Christmas from coming!...But HOW?" Simple enough, of course. All he had to do was loot the town of its packages, tinsel, trees, food, even the logs in the fireplace. Even the crumbs for the mice disappeared back up the chimney.
But of course it didn't work. That Christmas morning, listening from his aerie for the wailing from Whoville below, the Grinch heard instead the sound of singing. Christmas had come. "It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes, or bags!" After puzzling three hours till his puzzler was sore, the Grinch was forced to conclude that Christmas came from no store.
And so I breathed a sigh of real relief. Not only was I not a grinch trying to wreck the meaning of Christmas, it was abundantly clear who the grinches of our culture really are: those relentless commercial forces who have spent more than a century trying to convince us that Christmas does come from a store, or a catalogue, or a virtual mall on the Internet. Every day, but especially in the fall, they try their hardest to turn each Cindy Lou Who into a proper American consumer—try their best to make sure her Christmas revolves around Sony or Sega, Barbie or Elmo.
But Dr. Seuss's message went deeper for me. You see, when we'd begun thinking about Hundred Dollar Holidays, it was mostly out of concern for the environment or for poor people. Think of all that wrapping paper, we said, all those batteries, all that plastic. Think of all those needy people who could be helped if we donated our money to them instead. Think of all those families who went deep into debt trying to have a "proper" Christmas.
All those issues are important, and I've spent much of my life writing about and working on them. But the more we progressed on our little campaign, traveling around our region having evening meetings at small rural churches like the one I attend, the more we came to understand why people were responding—indeed, why we had responded to the idea. It wasn't because we wanted a simpler Christmas at all. It was because we wanted a more joyous Christmas. We were feeling cheated—as if the season didn't bring with it the happiness we wanted. We were Christians, and we felt that the story of the birth of this small baby who would become our Savior, a story that should be full of giddy joy, could hardly break through to our hearts amid all the rush and fuss of the season. And many of our friends, Christian or not, felt that too much of the chance for family togetherness was being robbed by the pressures of Christmas busyness and the tensions of gift-giving.
Christmas had become something to endure at least as much as it had become something to enjoy—something to dread at least as much as something to look forward to. Instead of an island of peace amid a busy life, it was an island of bustle. The people we were talking to wanted so much more out of Christmas: more music, more companionship, more contemplation, more time outdoors, more love. And they realized that to get it, they needed less of some other things: not so many gifts, not so many obligatory parties, not so much hustle.
Once, after an evening program filled with carol-singing and kids' stories and general proselytizing for the idea of simpler Christmases, one woman said to me: "Thank you for giving me permission to celebrate Christmas the way I've always wanted to." What she meant, I decided, was that the message from the pulpit allowed her to stand up to the pressures of the advertisers, of the glossy magazines with their endless decorating tips—to stand up to the voice that had been planted in the back of her head that told her what Christmas should be. What she meant, too, was that by giving her a target—a hundred dollar Christmas—our small campaign had provided her with an anchor to hold her fast amid the gale of holiday commercialism. There's nothing magic about a hundred dollars; truth be told, I chose the name because it sounded good with "holiday." And obviously big families may decide to spend more at Christmas, and small ones may be happier spending less. But the hundred dollar goal seems to work well as a kind of check, a way of saying that your commitment to a better Christmas goes beyond merely complaining or telling yourself that this year it will be different.
None of this means that changing your Christmas patterns will be simple. It may cause tensions with other members of your extended family, or with kids who have grown up thinking of Christmas morning as a lootfest. It may take you years to build down to a Hundred Dollar Holiday, years of talking and writing to your near and dear. In an obsessively commercial society, it will always seem a little odd to many.
But it will be worth it. I am writing this in April, and already I am looking forward to Christmas, secure in the knowledge that it really will be a time of calm and happiness, a season to linger in and not to "get through." A time to celebrate the birth of a Savior. This book offers plenty of practical ideas for new ways of celebrating. But it's as much a why—to book as a how—to book—it's my stab at a way to think about Christmas in our place and time. Christmas, this burst of light at the darkest season of the year, is too precious to surrender to the various grinches; it's time to build Whovilles in our families, our communities, and our nation.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
I found a good blog
For some reason this morning, I decided to try and find articles about tween / teen cell phone use. (For the record - I see no point in a kid having a cell phone until he or she is driving or at least in high school...) See this article for a good discussion about the issue.
Anyway, not much in the way of cell phone articles that I agree with, but I did find lots of articles on an interesting Blog site! Here are some of them:
Millionaire Mommy Next Door - Affluenza
Millionaire Mommy Next Door - Parenting With a Purpose
Millionaire Mommy Next Door - Changing the World
Millionaire Mommy Next Door - Shadow, Apprentice, Find a Mentor
MMND - Demystifying Investing
Anyway, not much in the way of cell phone articles that I agree with, but I did find lots of articles on an interesting Blog site! Here are some of them:
Millionaire Mommy Next Door - Affluenza
Millionaire Mommy Next Door - Parenting With a Purpose
Millionaire Mommy Next Door - Changing the World
Millionaire Mommy Next Door - Shadow, Apprentice, Find a Mentor
MMND - Demystifying Investing
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Why I like "Ecotopia"
Based upon my last post, it has hit me that this little blog could actually be a forum for a variety of my highly evolved opinions (or dare I say reflections) on some critical (to me) matters. Good thing I have turned off the "comments section" of this blog as I am sure I would get comments for offending.
So, why do I like the book Ecotopia? Well, first some background. Ecotopia was published in 1975 and is considered the world's first dramatic portrait of an ecologically sustainable society. I discovered the book in 2005, when the 30th Anniversary Issue was published. It is not a fantastically well-written book and I could definitely do without the "1970's free-love" dissertations. But, I like the book because the ideas presented 30 years ago are exactly what we need today for so many of the issues the United States currently faces. (An excellent book discussing the current situation is Deep Economy, another one of my recommendations).
The premise is that Washington, Oregon and Northern California secede from the United States, close their borders and become a self-contained country, economy and government. Instead of " living speeded-up, stressed-out, consumption-driven lives," Ecotopians learn how to live sustainably. They work fewer hours at jobs that are personally fulfilling; send their kids to schools that value nature, the outdoors, "real" learning and being a kid; and take the time to know their neighbors for who they are, not for what they have. Life is simpler. There's not so much pressure to get stuff, and more and more of it. People actually have time to read, work on hobbies, relax and think. And there's no criticism for not running 24/7. It makes me want to move to Montana and build a cabin off the grid. Well, sort of.... Maybe as a vacation home.... And therein lies the problem. We affluenza-afflicted Americans, myself included, are so addicted to stuff and comfort and being busy that it is really hard to change.
For now, the best I can do is try to make small changes. Make sure the kids know what is important even as they enjoy their electronic toys. Demonstrate by example - community service & ecological responsibility. Purchase and consume only what we need. Be aware of WHAT we are purchasing and where it comes from. Support local CSA's. The list goes on and on. I think our family is doing somewhat okay, but we can certainly do alot better.
I'll end with a plug for "The Story of Stuff", a video that APD brought to my attention - watch it following this link. The Story of Stuff
Interesting aside - if you are intrigued by this post you might like this article by Ernest Callenbach the author of Ecotopia
So, why do I like the book Ecotopia? Well, first some background. Ecotopia was published in 1975 and is considered the world's first dramatic portrait of an ecologically sustainable society. I discovered the book in 2005, when the 30th Anniversary Issue was published. It is not a fantastically well-written book and I could definitely do without the "1970's free-love" dissertations. But, I like the book because the ideas presented 30 years ago are exactly what we need today for so many of the issues the United States currently faces. (An excellent book discussing the current situation is Deep Economy, another one of my recommendations).
The premise is that Washington, Oregon and Northern California secede from the United States, close their borders and become a self-contained country, economy and government. Instead of " living speeded-up, stressed-out, consumption-driven lives," Ecotopians learn how to live sustainably. They work fewer hours at jobs that are personally fulfilling; send their kids to schools that value nature, the outdoors, "real" learning and being a kid; and take the time to know their neighbors for who they are, not for what they have. Life is simpler. There's not so much pressure to get stuff, and more and more of it. People actually have time to read, work on hobbies, relax and think. And there's no criticism for not running 24/7. It makes me want to move to Montana and build a cabin off the grid. Well, sort of.... Maybe as a vacation home.... And therein lies the problem. We affluenza-afflicted Americans, myself included, are so addicted to stuff and comfort and being busy that it is really hard to change.
For now, the best I can do is try to make small changes. Make sure the kids know what is important even as they enjoy their electronic toys. Demonstrate by example - community service & ecological responsibility. Purchase and consume only what we need. Be aware of WHAT we are purchasing and where it comes from. Support local CSA's. The list goes on and on. I think our family is doing somewhat okay, but we can certainly do alot better.
I'll end with a plug for "The Story of Stuff", a video that APD brought to my attention - watch it following this link. The Story of Stuff
Interesting aside - if you are intrigued by this post you might like this article by Ernest Callenbach the author of Ecotopia
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
