I just finished reading book #10 - Silver Spoon Kids - How Successful Parents Raise Responsible Children, by Eileen and Jon Gallo. I cannot remember how I stumbled upon this book, but it is really good.
It starts out saying that affluence is a double-edged sword. It allows us to raise children in comfort, but also allows over-indulgence. It gives us the ability to buy products and services that help learning and development but also makes it easier to focus on materialism. It increases the choices available to our children, but overloads them with activities. It enables them to be involved in philanthropy but creates a sense of entitlement. The authors state that affluence is actually often a state of mind rather then a glut of money, and many people that are "living the life" can not really afford it. Hence the bankruptcies and credit crises we are now seeing. The authors aren't all gloom and doom about money though. They basically say that kids can be taught to be appreciative and respectful, if they develop healthy relationships with money and needs vs. wants. (Hmm, sounds like some of my old posts....) They also advocate philanthropy from an early age, and say it is especially important for teenagers who are in a self-centered period of life. The authors talk about the "school curriculum" and how it encourages classism - the process of treating groups of people differently because of their class background. (We experienced this first hand when Alex was in 2nd grade - public school...) And one of my favorite positive quotes is "Affluence is simply an additional opportunity to make the world a better place."
Here's a review from TIME Magazine:
On page 89 of the new book Silver Spoon Kids, a guide for wealthy parents on how to raise fiscally responsible children, is a list of the 10 worst things you can say to your kids about money. Things like: We can't afford it, Time is money, and We'll talk about it later.
I wasn't guilty of them all, but enough to start me thinking. I want my kids to work hard, appreciate what they have and give to causes they believe in. Yet we live in an age when "affluenza" makes the cover of Forbes, and young adults have serious credit-card problems. Does the fact that my daughter sees me whipping out my credit card several times a day mean she will be back on our doorstep with her hand out at age 25?
Hoping not, I dug into this book, written by Jon and Eileen Gallo, husband (he's an estate-planning attorney) and wife (she's a psychotherapist), who have spent the past 17 years raising their three kids. And I came away cautiously optimistic. The Gallos, it turns out, are realists. They believe it's normal for children to want everything they see on TV. They know that kids can be relentless. And they're not of the opinion that money is a bad thing; quite the opposite in fact. "We tell people money never hurt anyone," says Jon Gallo. "It's money without values that's the problem."
But how do you instill the right values in your kids? It's a matter of showing them three things, according to the Gallos:
1. Show them balanced behavior by separating wants from needs. One parent the Gallos worked with watched her daughter run down the Barbie aisle at Toys "R" Us and insist she "needed" a purple purse for her doll. The mother paused and said, "Your Barbie already has a pink purse. Do you think she needs a purple one too?" On her own, the little girl decided no.
2. Show them the money. Giving your kids money — an allowance when they're young and, the Gallos suggest, a prepaid credit card like Visa Buxx when they're teens — is key to teaching them how to live within their means as adults. Use the start of an allowance (or a raise) to discuss what your kids are expected to do: Are they responsible for buying their own candy at the movies, their own CDs at the mall? Are they expected to save some and give some away? (For youngsters, I've recently come across a terrific plastic piggy bank called the Money Savvy Pig. It's clear (so the kids can see money adding up) and has four slots, one each for saving, spending, investing and donating. You can get it on the Web at www.moneysavvygeneration.com for $14.95.
3. Show them how to give. Particularly when they are young, they're open to the message that they need to help. Spend a morning stocking the shelves at a local food pantry. Walk with them for causes like breast cancer or heart disease. Help them count the change they save, then write a check for that amount to a charity they choose. And be sure to request that the thank-you note comes to them.
By Jean Chatzky
If you're interested, the authors have a website and another book - see Financially Intelligent Parent or fiparent.com . Also if you're still with me...
More of my favorite excerpts from the book:
Electronic media
Most American by the age of 18 will have spent more time in front of a television then in school... When not watching TV, they're online. The problem is not the medium itself - computers, television - but rather what it prevents kids from doing. Engaging in real conversations with real people is how kids mature emotionally and become socialized. Face-to-face communication is the key to what counts in life, from a happy family to physical health and longevity. Participating in activities with friends and adults provides experiences that help shape values. When kids spend hours watching TV, a computer screen or playing video games, they are robbed of conversations and activities. It's no wonder that many of them are emotionally stunted and do not develop the solid values that keep them from becoming spoiled, entitled, snobbish or unmotivated. (page 8)
Ten Worst Things You Can Say to Your Kids -
1. We can't afford it
2. We'll talk about it later
3. We'll pay you for every A on your report card
4. Money is the root of all evil
5. Time is money
6. Thta's not an appropriate question
7. They're disgustingly rich
8. Don't ever let anyone know how much money we have
9. Why don't you have your friends here - we have a __________, after all
10. Be thankful you don't live there
For more explanation of these see page 89.
School Curriculum
Although it would be nice to think that the educational system combats classism, historically it encourages it. A Harvard study found that teachers expectations about the academic potential of their students were based almost entirely on the racial and socioeconomic status of the families. Consequently, teachers spend more time with these students and less with the students they expect to fail, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. (page 143)
Give and You Shall Receive ( page 155)
Philanthropy is a meaningful activity. This is no small point considering that teenagers often view the world from an existential perspective. At the most extreme they adopt a cynical pose and believe in nothing except their own immediate needs. Philanthropic endeavors contradict this notion of a meaningless existence. When adolescents especially perform services for others who are less well off, they relaize that they possess the capacity to do something meaningful, and by extension they learn they can live meaningful lives. This can start the process whereby teenagers shuck off the cynicism and begin to mature into responsible adults.
The Desire to Live a Meaningful (not just material) Life (page 237)
We're more affluent then our parents; we probably work as many or more hours as they did; we may see our kids less; we enjoy a high standard of living. So what? Are we as a society really happier? Do our lives make more sense? Are our kids happier? Delve into these questions for yourself...
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
52 Books Challenge - January Update
These are the books I've read so far in January. I don't feel that productive, as most of them are very short and actually kids books. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy them. In fact, lately, I really prefer reading Youth Historical Fiction. I'm learning a lot and can't believe how lacking my own history education was as a kid. It's fun to look at timelines and see when this stuff was happening in relation to other stuff (explorations, wars, etc.) It's also fun to look at historical maps and see where the books take place. So, I'll keep plugging along and see what other books jump out at me.
The List---
1. Shakespeare – The World is a Stage by Bill Bryson
2. Amos Fortune – Free Man by Elizabeth Yates
3. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (abridged audio version)
4. Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass by Frederick Douglass
5. Sign of the Beaver by Elizabeth George Speare
6. Sold by Patricia McCormick
7. The Truth Behind Death at Columbine by Brooks Brown
8. The Winter People by Joseph Bruchac
9. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier
On a creepy note, the Columbine book was pretty disturbing, and even more so to me when 3 days after I finished it, the elementary school and alternative high school near us were put on lockdown. How scary! And last year Alex's middle school had a bomb scare. It's so sad to me that our world has to be like this. And, I'm so glad we're not at the public school anymore!
The List---
1. Shakespeare – The World is a Stage by Bill Bryson
2. Amos Fortune – Free Man by Elizabeth Yates
3. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (abridged audio version)
4. Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass by Frederick Douglass
5. Sign of the Beaver by Elizabeth George Speare
6. Sold by Patricia McCormick
7. The Truth Behind Death at Columbine by Brooks Brown
8. The Winter People by Joseph Bruchac
9. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier
On a creepy note, the Columbine book was pretty disturbing, and even more so to me when 3 days after I finished it, the elementary school and alternative high school near us were put on lockdown. How scary! And last year Alex's middle school had a bomb scare. It's so sad to me that our world has to be like this. And, I'm so glad we're not at the public school anymore!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
52 Books in 52 Weeks
I found this challenge on the Susan Wise Bauer website. 52 Books in 52 Weeks is the actual Blog/Website.
Here are the rules.
This challenge is the brainchild of Kay of Cal who proposed this book challenge to the ladies and gents of the Well Trained Mind message boards. The goal is to read one book (at least) a week for 52 weeks.The rules are very simple
-Read an average of a book a week - 52 books in 52 weeks
-Re-reading a book counts--as long as you first read it before 2009
-School related books don't count (unless you want them to)
-You can start reading on 1-1-09 at 00:00:01AM
I'm going to try it - are you game???
Here are the rules.
Welcome to the 2009 challenge "52 Books in 52 Weeks".
This challenge is the brainchild of Kay of Cal who proposed this book challenge to the ladies and gents of the Well Trained Mind message boards. The goal is to read one book (at least) a week for 52 weeks.The rules are very simple
-Read an average of a book a week - 52 books in 52 weeks
-Re-reading a book counts--as long as you first read it before 2009
-School related books don't count (unless you want them to)
-You can start reading on 1-1-09 at 00:00:01AM
I'm going to try it - are you game???
More reasons to Homeschool... Seattle Times Article
I found this article in a homeschool newsletter that I receive every month. See The Home Scholar.
A formula for lifting Washington out of its math mess
"Reform" math, which Superintendent of Public Instruction Terry Bergeson supports, is a failure, says a Ballard High math instructor.
By Ted Nutting
Special to The Times
I'm a high-school math teacher in Seattle. When I hear Mark Emmert, president of the University of Washington, say that this state is "at the bottom in the production of scientists and engineers," and warn that our graduates "will be washing the cars for the people who come here for the best jobs," (This is scary!!) I know what the problem is. It's math. We are failing to educate our children in mathematics. I know how that came about, and what we can do about it.
The problem is national in scope, but in Washington state our difficulties can be traced principally to Terry Bergeson, superintendent of public instruction for the past 12 years. She oversaw the writing of our state's weak, vague math standards, basing them on a "reform" idea to promote "discovery" learning. This has turned teachers into "facilitators" who "guide" children in learning activities. It has promoted "differentiated instruction," placing students of wildly differing abilities together where some students cannot do the required work, often to the detriment of those who can.
She has moved away from rigorous testing. The "reform" math she champions encourages such things as journals, portfolios and group projects that tend to form large parts of classroom grading systems, while test results are relegated to a lesser role. The math portion of the Washington Assessment of Student Learning (WASL), aligned to her faulty standards, tests math skills at a low level. Even so, about half our 10th-graders fail it.
She has wasted millions of dollars on "professional development" to encourage teachers to put "reform" theo-ries into practice. These theories are supposed to make it possible for all students to learn math. But few students know significant mathematics, and most know very little. About half of our students entering college now have to take remedial math. Many of our students who do succeed use private tutors, (why send your kids to school????) and the racial achievement gaps have widened. "Reform's" emphasis on equity and fairness has been revealed to be empty talk.
My experience tells me that we can fix this, and quickly. I am the Advanced Placement calculus teacher at Ballard High School. I don't teach Bergeson-style. I tell my students what they need to know, they do problems to understand how it works, and they demonstrate their knowledge and understanding through testing. Up until this year, we've insisted that our students who take AP calculus actually be able to do the work.
We at Ballard have by far the best AP calculus program in Seattle Public Schools, based on AP test scores. I have no special magnetism or charisma; I'm not a cult figure for teenagers. I have high standards and I require the students to work. If they don't work, they know they will probably flunk. But they do work, and I am proud of them. I also have the benefit of having an older textbook that doesn't fit the "reform math" model, and most of my students have had an excellent pre-calculus teacher the year before.
In most of our other math classes (and I doubt that Ballard is unique in this), we've tended to follow a "reform" model. We've passed students on from class to class; there is no meaningful threshold they must cross to enter a more-difficult class. Since we find that many students in our classes cannot do the work, we dumb down the courses. We say we are admitting unprepared students into our classes in order to "challenge" them.
But students should be challenged in the classes that they are qualified to take, not sent on to classes where they cannot do the work. Unfortunately, things are changing, even in our school's AP calculus classes: We're starting to admit unqualified students, and our program will soon begin to deteriorate.
It's not just Ballard's AP calculus program that is successful, and it's not just the top students. North Beach Elementary in Seattle switched its math curriculum to Saxon Math in 2001. This excellent series teaches real math and does not follow Bergeson's fuzzy, reform-oriented ideology. North Beach did this with reluctant agreement from Seattle Public Schools because the PTA paid for the books and because the superintendent supported site-based decision-making. North Beach's passing rate on the WASL rose from 68 percent in 2000 to 94 percent in 2004 — and yet, every year parents worry that real math will be scrapped. Recently, the school has had to seek waivers to avoid having to teach the district's "reform" math.
Legislators have begun to understand the problem. At the Legislature's direction in 2007, the state Board of Education reviewed our state's math standards, finding they were failing. The Legislature set up a system to fix the problems, but that system gave Bergeson the opportunity to sabotage the process. She stacked the committees selected to rewrite the standards with like-minded ideologues. The results were so bad the Legislature refused to accept the rewritten standards, sending them to the Board of Education to fix.
Bergeson then stacked the committees set up to select curricula for state approval. That process is not complete, but the first results are discour-aging. The Legislature had required that the new mathematics standards be based on (among other things) the standards of Singapore, consistently a leader on international tests, but Bergeson's initial submission of texts ranked Singapore Math, that country's official curriculum (and a superior one), dead last out of 12.
Most school-district administrations have gone along with Bergeson and share responsibility for this mess. Even as an uproar arose nationally against the programs Bergeson promotes, Seattle started using two of them in elementary and middle schools.
None of this is necessary. Students can learn math. My students learn it. If our education leaders would follow the lead of our Legislature, stop ignoring obvious successes and support what actually works, we would see major improvements in just a few years.
Ted Nutting is the Advanced Placement calculus teacher at Ballard High School in Seattle.
A formula for lifting Washington out of its math mess
"Reform" math, which Superintendent of Public Instruction Terry Bergeson supports, is a failure, says a Ballard High math instructor.
By Ted Nutting
Special to The Times
I'm a high-school math teacher in Seattle. When I hear Mark Emmert, president of the University of Washington, say that this state is "at the bottom in the production of scientists and engineers," and warn that our graduates "will be washing the cars for the people who come here for the best jobs," (This is scary!!) I know what the problem is. It's math. We are failing to educate our children in mathematics. I know how that came about, and what we can do about it.
The problem is national in scope, but in Washington state our difficulties can be traced principally to Terry Bergeson, superintendent of public instruction for the past 12 years. She oversaw the writing of our state's weak, vague math standards, basing them on a "reform" idea to promote "discovery" learning. This has turned teachers into "facilitators" who "guide" children in learning activities. It has promoted "differentiated instruction," placing students of wildly differing abilities together where some students cannot do the required work, often to the detriment of those who can.
She has moved away from rigorous testing. The "reform" math she champions encourages such things as journals, portfolios and group projects that tend to form large parts of classroom grading systems, while test results are relegated to a lesser role. The math portion of the Washington Assessment of Student Learning (WASL), aligned to her faulty standards, tests math skills at a low level. Even so, about half our 10th-graders fail it.
She has wasted millions of dollars on "professional development" to encourage teachers to put "reform" theo-ries into practice. These theories are supposed to make it possible for all students to learn math. But few students know significant mathematics, and most know very little. About half of our students entering college now have to take remedial math. Many of our students who do succeed use private tutors, (why send your kids to school????) and the racial achievement gaps have widened. "Reform's" emphasis on equity and fairness has been revealed to be empty talk.
My experience tells me that we can fix this, and quickly. I am the Advanced Placement calculus teacher at Ballard High School. I don't teach Bergeson-style. I tell my students what they need to know, they do problems to understand how it works, and they demonstrate their knowledge and understanding through testing. Up until this year, we've insisted that our students who take AP calculus actually be able to do the work.
We at Ballard have by far the best AP calculus program in Seattle Public Schools, based on AP test scores. I have no special magnetism or charisma; I'm not a cult figure for teenagers. I have high standards and I require the students to work. If they don't work, they know they will probably flunk. But they do work, and I am proud of them. I also have the benefit of having an older textbook that doesn't fit the "reform math" model, and most of my students have had an excellent pre-calculus teacher the year before.
In most of our other math classes (and I doubt that Ballard is unique in this), we've tended to follow a "reform" model. We've passed students on from class to class; there is no meaningful threshold they must cross to enter a more-difficult class. Since we find that many students in our classes cannot do the work, we dumb down the courses. We say we are admitting unprepared students into our classes in order to "challenge" them.
But students should be challenged in the classes that they are qualified to take, not sent on to classes where they cannot do the work. Unfortunately, things are changing, even in our school's AP calculus classes: We're starting to admit unqualified students, and our program will soon begin to deteriorate.
It's not just Ballard's AP calculus program that is successful, and it's not just the top students. North Beach Elementary in Seattle switched its math curriculum to Saxon Math in 2001. This excellent series teaches real math and does not follow Bergeson's fuzzy, reform-oriented ideology. North Beach did this with reluctant agreement from Seattle Public Schools because the PTA paid for the books and because the superintendent supported site-based decision-making. North Beach's passing rate on the WASL rose from 68 percent in 2000 to 94 percent in 2004 — and yet, every year parents worry that real math will be scrapped. Recently, the school has had to seek waivers to avoid having to teach the district's "reform" math.
Legislators have begun to understand the problem. At the Legislature's direction in 2007, the state Board of Education reviewed our state's math standards, finding they were failing. The Legislature set up a system to fix the problems, but that system gave Bergeson the opportunity to sabotage the process. She stacked the committees selected to rewrite the standards with like-minded ideologues. The results were so bad the Legislature refused to accept the rewritten standards, sending them to the Board of Education to fix.
Bergeson then stacked the committees set up to select curricula for state approval. That process is not complete, but the first results are discour-aging. The Legislature had required that the new mathematics standards be based on (among other things) the standards of Singapore, consistently a leader on international tests, but Bergeson's initial submission of texts ranked Singapore Math, that country's official curriculum (and a superior one), dead last out of 12.
Most school-district administrations have gone along with Bergeson and share responsibility for this mess. Even as an uproar arose nationally against the programs Bergeson promotes, Seattle started using two of them in elementary and middle schools.
None of this is necessary. Students can learn math. My students learn it. If our education leaders would follow the lead of our Legislature, stop ignoring obvious successes and support what actually works, we would see major improvements in just a few years.
Ted Nutting is the Advanced Placement calculus teacher at Ballard High School in Seattle.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Year in Review May - July, 2008
July
July, 2008 was a super busy month!
Alex went to Cougar Quest camp the same week that Rachel was gone.
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We were surrounded by wild animals...
The kids with Tiny.
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A mother and baby in our yard!
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Rachel donated her hair - we were really proud.
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Before
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After!
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Sadly waving goodbye... 
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Rachel and Dad went to the Daddy-Daughter dance, and had a good time.
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July, 2008 was a super busy month!
Rachel went to girl scout camp - overnight for a week! We missed her, but she had a blast.
Alex went to Cougar Quest camp the same week that Rachel was gone.
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We were surrounded by wild animals...
The kids with Tiny..JPG)
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A mother and baby in our yard!
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Rachel donated her hair - we were really proud.
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After!Our friends from California came to spend a week with us. We went horseback riding, hiking and kayaking - even though the weather was bad and rainy!
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Sadly waving goodbye... No sooner did our friends leave then we started packing for our amazing August trip to Peru!
June
The highlight of June was a visit from Cousin Peter. He and the kids had fun playing Rock Band.
The highlight of June was a visit from Cousin Peter. He and the kids had fun playing Rock Band.
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Rachel and Dad went to the Daddy-Daughter dance, and had a good time.
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The kids had their very last Meydenbauer Piano recital in June. Alex started with a new teacher at Chopin Academy in September and Rachel also found a new teacher - Alex!
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Rachel played "Jazzy Moves" and "The Pink Panther".
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Alex played "Maple Leaf Rag" by Scott Joplin and "Rondo Alla Turca" by Mozart.
The highlight of May was Grandma coming to see us. Alex and I took her to see David Lanz in the Seattle Ten Grands concert.
She had fun practicing archery in our backyard.
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Rachel played "Jazzy Moves" and "The Pink Panther"..JPG)
Alex played "Maple Leaf Rag" by Scott Joplin and "Rondo Alla Turca" by Mozart.May
The highlight of May was Grandma coming to see us. Alex and I took her to see David Lanz in the Seattle Ten Grands concert.
She had fun practicing archery in our backyard.
Good thing she didn't try to shoot this guy at Northwest Trek, though!
May ended with an SVGC concert. It was very nice.
Year in Review January - April, 2008
April
April was all about the opera. Rachel performed with the Snoqualmie Valley Girl's Choir in the Bellevue Opera production of Carmen. It was amazing. The girls dressed up as little street urchins and sang their hearts out in French! Rehearsals took place during the whole month of April, several nights per week. Since a few of us moms were driving to every rehearsal, the stage manager asked us to be extras (see me in the lefthand corner, there?)
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March
March was a busy month. We had fun baking a lamb cake for Easter.
More performances...
Alex played with a group for Easter Mass
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The best part of March was going to Lake Tahoe to ski with our friends who now live in Scotts Valley, CA.
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Our rental house
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February is Birthday month!
This year the kids had sleepover birthdays at home. Same weekend - RMD on Friday night, APD on Saturday night. It was exhausting but fun.
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Legaless in Memoriam
Happy New Year!
April was all about the opera. Rachel performed with the Snoqualmie Valley Girl's Choir in the Bellevue Opera production of Carmen. It was amazing. The girls dressed up as little street urchins and sang their hearts out in French! Rehearsals took place during the whole month of April, several nights per week. Since a few of us moms were driving to every rehearsal, the stage manager asked us to be extras (see me in the lefthand corner, there?)
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March
March was a busy month. We had fun baking a lamb cake for Easter.
More performances...
Alex played with a group for Easter Mass
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Rachel sang "Colors of the Wind" for the Snoqualmie Valley Idol contest
The best part of March was going to Lake Tahoe to ski with our friends who now live in Scotts Valley, CA.
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It was everyone's first time skiing in Tahoe and we all had a great time. The kids were all in ski lessons - well Alex did snowboarding - and the adults had fun skiing except me. I had fun relaxing and reading and cooking in peace and quiet! .JPG)
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Our rental house
We had a chance to see Carson City - the Capital of Nevada - and even dragged along our friends' kids.
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We also were able to visit Sacramento - California's capital. Alex liked it so much, he said he planned to raise his family there.
Sacramento, CA
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February is Birthday month!
This year the kids had sleepover birthdays at home. Same weekend - RMD on Friday night, APD on Saturday night. It was exhausting but fun.
Legaless in Memoriam
Rachel's favorite stick bug died in February. It was the first of her colony to pass away and she was really sad. She held a funeral and buried him in her garden.
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January
Nothing much happens around here in January - unless you count rain.
Happy New Year!
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